


i don't wanna be an asshole anymore

by redskieskath



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M, Mentions of Suicidal Thoughts, bc these teenagers do not have the best mental health, i just love this group okay., this was a gc fic and then it morphed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:14:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21897238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redskieskath/pseuds/redskieskath
Summary: the losers' club fic that i'm using as a coping mechanism (title taken from the menzingers)
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Mike Hanlon/Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 4
Kudos: 38





	1. Chapter 1

3:02am 

the losers™️ 

**_queen bev_ **okay so i swear it was like. midnight 10 minutes ago 

**_bitchie_ **i concur, but i’m honestly not shocked 

**_Big Bill_ **that’s a big word rich are u sure u know what that means 

**_bitchie_ **leave me alone i helped eds write an essay tonight so i’m still thinking Fancy Essay Thoughts 

**_bitchie_ ***Thots 

**_queen bev_ **i didn’t mean to start this. go to sleep. 

**_Big Bill_ **hypocrite.

 **_queen bev_ **yes yes but now i’m sleepy and u should be too 

**_bitchie_ **haha you guys still get tired haha nerds 

**_bitchie_ **sleep is for the weak 

**_queen bev_ **richie no

 **_Big Bill_ **no richie ur right sleep IS for the weak 

**_Big Bill_ ** and i am very weak so goodnight 

**_queen bev_ ** i have to sleep too bc it is really fucking late 

**_queen bev_ **don’t let the insomnia kick ur ass too hard gn

 **_bitchie_ **i’ll try :,) 

**_bitchie_ **gn bev 

5:07am 

the losers™️ 

**_micycle_ **part of me wants to be sympathetic that you guys are all gonna be super tired today

 **_micycle_ **but a bigger part of me knows that you’re all completely at fault for it 

**_bitchie_ **ur still gonna listen to us complain and be super nice and sympathetic bc ur mike hanlon and u love us :) 

**_micycle_ **don’t make assumptions 

**_micycle_ **...but you’re right 

**_micycle_ **i love y’all 

7:34am 

the losers™️ 

**_eds_ **FOR THE LOVE OF JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU NOT SPAM THE CHAT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GODDAMN NIGHT

 **_eds_ **NORMAL AND SANE PEOPLE ARE. FUCKING. SLEEPING. 

**_eds_** ONE MORE BEEP AND I WOULD HAVE JUMPED OUT THE WINDOW I SWEAR 

**_staniel_ **i would agree but also, eddie, just turn your ringer off 

**_bitchie_ **yeah eds wtf

 **_bitchie_ **this is in your control 

**_eds_** …

 **_eds_ **okay not to be soft or anything but 

**_eds_ ** what if something bad happened and i had my ringer off 

**_bitchie_ **EDS

 **_bitchie_ **that’s adorable 

**_eds_ **DO NOT CALL ME THAT 

**_eds_ **and i said “not to be soft” so 

**_staniel_ **yes, we acknowledge that you tried to “no homo” caring about us

 **_staniel_ **but we all know better 

**_bitchie_ **:,)

 **_bitchie_ **i knew you loved us

 **_eds_ **MAYBE YOU FUCKERS SHOULD JUST NOT TEXT AT THREE AM THEN HUH

 **_staniel_ **okay, i have a perfectly normal and healthy sleep schedule, so i don’t know who you’re yelling at

 **_bitchie_ **… i’ve been called out 

**_haystack_ ** eddie, we love you too 

**_haystack_ **richie, do you ever sleep? 

**_bitchie_ **good morning ben! 

**_bitchie_ **and, no 

**_staniel_ **hello ben there has been a lot of yelling from the children this morning 

**_haystack_ **hmm you’re right 

**_haystack_ **maybe eddie should take a nap 

**_eds_ **OH MY GOD 

8:32am 

the losers™️ 

**_micycle_ **sometimes i legitimately worry about you all 

**_bitchie_ **hi mike :) 

**_micycle_ **hello again, richie 

**_micycle_ **please sleep 

**_haystack_ **how are chores this morning?

 **_micycle_ **great!!! our calf is doing so well!! 

**_haystack_ **yay!!!! 

**_bitchie_ **ahhhh!!! 

**_staniel_ **i require pictures of your baby cow please 

**_micycle_ ** **[itsacalfanditsadorable.jpeg]**

 **_bitchie_ **jhdhsjj,,, i’m cryinf

 **_staniel_ **okay. same. i am also “cryinf.” 

**_micycle_ **i have to go again but i will send more pictures later 

**_micycle_ **SLEEP 

**_bitchie_ ** i will try to take ur advice because u blessed us

 **_bitchie_ **#sleepformike

 **_bitchie_ **#andhisnewcalf 

**_bitchie_ **WAIT YOU NEVER TOLD US ITS NAME 

9:15am

the losers™️ 

**_eds_ ** okay i’m back 

**_haystack_ **did you take a nap? 

**_eds_ **yes

 **_haystack_ ** do you feel better? 

**_eds_ **...yes 

**_eds_ **also i like the cow @ mike 

10:37am 

the losers™️ 

**_bitchie_ ** GUYS 

**_staniel_ **what 

**_bitchie_ **i love you 

**_staniel_ **gay 

**_queen bev_** richie AW we love you too 

**_eds_ **Gay 

**_bitchie_ **yeah 

10:38am 

richie&bev&stan 

**_queen bev_ **RICH 

**_bitchie_ **don’t call me out like this okay 

10:38am 

eds&bill 

**_eds_ **Bill. 

**_Big Bill_ **yeah i agree


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is this completely out of the blue? yes. sorry.

Richie was sitting on the cliff’s edge, too-long legs swinging in the open air. He’d been sitting there for close to two hours now, his eyes glued to the water below him. His cigarette was burning close to his fingers, but he didn’t seem to notice. As Beverly watched him, he took another long drag and exhaled, not yet noticing her presence. She almost didn’t want to disturb him — he looked so emotionally wrought that even a conversation with her might break him. On the other hand, though, maybe a conversation with a friend was  _ exactly  _ what he needed. Either way, she was here and she was getting more worried by the second. Richie took another long inhale and she saw the smoke curling around his head. 

_ A halo _ , she thought.

She took out a cigarette of her own, pulling a lighter out of her bag, too. Richie still hadn’t looked back at her, so stuck-in-his-own-head that he’d ignored Ben’s engine as Bev had been dropped off. 

“You sure I don’t need to be here?” Ben had said, gripping the wheel and meeting her gaze out of the corner of worried eyes. He’d seen Richie’s thin form at the edge of the cliff and hadn’t looked away. 

“I think just me would be best,” Bev had responded, comforting him with a gentle squeeze of his arm. “For now, at least. You know how he gets.” 

It was clear that Ben hadn’t liked leaving either of them, but Beverly knew what Richie needed and Ben trusted Beverly to help and Richie would be fine. RIchie was always fine. 

Sometimes, he just needed someone to let him fall apart first. 

Beverly took a long drag of her own cigarette before coughing lightly to announce her presence. Richie didn’t jump, just turned his head slowly to meet her eyes. 

“Hiya, Bev.” 

His eyes were watery, and his smile was loose to match. His eyes were tinged with red, like he was either high or crying. Judging by his shaky hands and slumped shoulders, she was guessing both. 

“Hey, Trashmouth.” 

His smile faltered as he looked away from her and back to the water. He took one last drag, dropped the cigarette butt, and then swung his legs up to sit. Bev sat down beside him, their shoulders barely touching, just enough where she could feel his shoulder rise and fall in a deep inhale. 

“Richie, do you think we should call Stan?” Bev muttered under her breath. Richie shook his head and cleared his throat. He knew what she was really asking. 

_ Richie, how bad is it?  _

The edges of Richie’s mouth lifted again, in a pained sort of half-smile. He shook his head  _ no _ . He didn’t need anything tonight, but he knew that Bev’s company would help. He slid his phone out of his pocket and opened his messages, flipping the phone to show Bev without a word. He’d already sent a  _ bad night _ text to Stan, and Stan had immediately asked him where he was. Richie had said that he was okay, that _ no, I’ll just text you _ , that he wasn’t great but he was fine. He’d also shared his location, because it always made Stan feel better, for the  _ just in case.  _ He watched as she read those messages, her eyebrows scrunched up, and she nodded. 

She’d received a  _ bad night  _ text, too, with his location attached. She met Richie’s eyes again and offered him her cigarette. He took it and half-smiled again. 

“What is it?” Bev asked. Richie exhaled through a puff of smoke. 

Staring straight ahead, his cigarette hanging from loose fingers, he shook his head. He didn’t need to talk about it because it wasn’t advice he was asking for. Tonight, he just needed the comfort of being loved. 

She nodded, knowing just like she always did, and reached out to grab his hand. 

They sat together, watching the sun set in the water below them, passing cigarette after cigarette back and forth. 

Richie sniffled and wiped his eyes one last time as the sun finally sunk out of sight. He gave Bev’s hand a squeeze and rocked himself onto his knees. Reaching to help Bev up, they stood together. He looked down at her, eyes still watery but much less heavy than before, and Bev reached up to cup his cheek. She gave him a smile and he knew she loved him and that was enough. 

Ben's truck rolled up the hill a minute later, and Bev climbed into the front. Richie clambered into the back, long limbs stuck at odd angles but still relaxed, in the backseat. Bev and Ben dropped Richie off first, watching him climb the short tree to his bedroom window before driving away. 


	3. Chapter 3

10:40pm

ben&bev 

**_queen bev_ **okay how much do you think heteronormativity affected our relationship

 **_haystack_ **um

 **_queen bev_ **no no that sounded weird 

**_queen bev_ **what i MEANT was that we like worked stuff out pretty fast 

**_queen bev_ **but our dear gay friends literally have their heads so far up their asses that i genuinely don’t know if they’ll ever figure anything out 

**_haystack_ **ah yes 

**_haystack_ ** although i’m not so sure it has to do with us being straight i think it was mostly just because i don’t really do anything subtly

 **_haystack_ **i talked to you once, and then wrote you a poem

 **_haystack_ **and i still have absolutely no shame about it 

**_queen bev_ ** okay true

 **_queen bev_ **and i still cry when i read it 

**_queen bev_ ** i love you 

**_haystack_ **i love you too

 **_queen bev_ **maybe you should give them lessons on how to actually acknowledge their feelings 

**_haystack_ **i think they’ve got to figure it out for themselves. feelings are complicated, and honestly the heteronormativity might actually be a part of it.

 **_haystack_ **because i knew i liked you in the girlfriend way, but eddie and rich have been friends forever. they love each other, but they have to figure out exactly how they love each other

 **_queen bev_ **ben, they Big Gay love each other 

**_queen bev_ **they Wanna Make Out love each other 

**_haystack_ ** yeah they do 

**_haystack_ **but they have to figure out that they do 

**_haystack_ **and, as much as i’d like to, i don’t think it’d be a good idea to push them into it 

**_queen bev_ **i know :( 

**_queen bev_ **i just want everyone to be happy and in love :( 

**_haystack_ **i know. me too. 

**_queen bev_ ** oh also 

**_queen bev_ ** i wasn’t just talking about richie and eddie

11:23am

the losers™️

**_Big Bill_ **y’all can we do a movie night soon georgie wants to watch disney 

**_bitchie_ **YES 

**_queen bev_ **omg omg of COURSE WE CAN 

**_micycle_ **i am willing to watch anything for georgie

 **_staniel_ **i would die for georgie 

**_queen bev_ **same

 **_eds_ **same

 **_bitchie_ **same 

**_haystack_ **but if you all died then georgie would be sad :( 

**_Big Bill_ **true, he would be, he loves y’all 

**_staniel_ **alright suicide pact cancelled

 **_staniel_ ** georgie can never be sad

 **_queen bev_ **guess we’ll have to live forever then huh 

**_micycle_ **obviously 

**_staniel_ **i can try and make those cookies y’all like 

**_bitchie_ **WHAT 

**_micycle_ ** those are my favorites! thanks stan :)

 **_bitchie_ **YOU NEVER MAKE THOSE COOKIES

11:24am 

stan&richie

**_staniel_ ** richie if you don’t shut up 

**_bitchie_ **I LOVE THOSE COOKIES TOO 

**_staniel_ **richard. 

**_bitchie_ ** YOU NEVER MAKE THEM BC IT TAKES LIKE FIVE HOURS WITH CLEAN UP AND EVERYTHING 

**_bitchie_ **AND EVERYTIME WE DO MAKE THEM I HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT HOW DIFFICULT THEY ARE 

**_bitchie_ **BUT MIKE

 **_bitchie_ **oh wait 

**_bitchie_ **OH WAIT 

**_staniel_ **richard tozier i will not hesitate 

**_bitchie_ **stan. stanny. staniel. 

**_bitchie_ **why didn’t you tell me? 

**_staniel_ **i would like it to go away 

**_staniel_ **it is inconvenient and not reciprocated 

**_bitchie_ **tell me about it 

**_staniel_ **THIS IS NOTHING LIKE YOU AND EDDIE. YOU ARE EDDIE ARE BOTH IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER. 

**_bitchie_ **AND YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT MIKE DOESN’T LOVE YOU?

 **_staniel_ **you are a pain 

**_bitchie_ **Tell Me About It 

11:24am

ben&bev 

**_queen bev_ **oh i see it now 

**_queen bev_ **yes

11:37am 

the losers™️

**_haystack_ **i am 10000% down for cookies and disney, especially if it’s with georgie 

**_bitchie_ **me too !!!! im there !!! we all knew i’d be there but im excited !!!! 

**_micycle_ **might be a little late because i’m raising a baby cow, but i’m definitely coming 

**_queen bev_ **ben will obviously be bringing me 

**_haystack_ **:)

 **_bitchie_ **and i will obviously be dragging my dear eds along 

**_eds_ **i never agreed to this 

**_eds_ **but yeah i’ll be there 

11:37am 

richie&bev&stan

**_staniel_ **did you really just imply that you and eddie are parallel to ben and bev

 **_staniel_ **because, richie, that’s gay 

**_queen bev_ **YOU REALLY JUST CALLED HIM YOUR WHOLE BOYFRIEND 

**_queen bev_ **you’re so fucking gay sweetheart it hurts

 **_bitchie_ **it was a subtle implication okay its fine okay 

**_staniel_ **you’re a disaster 

11:37am 

eds&bill

**_eds_ **did he realize that made him sound like my boyfriend

 **_Big Bill_ **probably not 

**_Big Bill_ ** but i don’t think that’s because he doesn’t want it to sound like that 

**_eds_ **those were confusing double negatives 

**_Big Bill_ **he wants to be your boyfriend 

**_eds_ **he does not 

**_eds_ **he was joking he does not 

**_Big Bill_ **eddie

11:24am

ben&bev 

**_haystack_ **oh wow

 **_queen bev_ **i know

11:38am 

the losers™️

**_Big Bill_ **oh also stan you can come over to my house early to bake the cookies, if you want

 **_Big Bill_ ** my kitchen is stocked 

**_Big Bill_ **i know how much of a mess they make

 **_staniel_ **okay sure 

**_staniel_ ** thank you 

**_Big Bill_ **always 

11:38am 

eds&bill

**_eds_ **bill are you kidding me

 **_Big Bill_ **you’d do the same thing!!!! 

**_eds_ **you literally hate cleaning more than anything else in the world

 **_Big Bill_ **i just know he hates the mess!!!!!! 

**_eds_ **its still gonna be a mess and its now gonna be in your kitchen 

**_Big Bill_ **it doesn’t stress me out like it stresses him out!!! plus we can clean together!!!!! 

**_Big Bill_ **it’s called being a good friend!!!

 **_eds_ **“always” 

**_Big Bill_ **okay i don’t have an explanation for that part 

**_eds_ ** ha 

**_eds_ **gay 

**_Big Bill_ **yeah i know 

11:39am

ben&bev 

**_queen bev_ **wait 

**_queen bev_ **oh shit 

**_haystack_ **oh shit is right 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the very beginning (the first convo) was posted earlier, but it makes more sense here so i moved it :) enjoy!

2:30pm 

the losers™️

**_micycle_ **okay so we’re meeting at bill’s tonight, right? 

**_bitchie_ **yeahhh babyyyy 

**_haystack_ **are you gonna be able to get here? 

**_bitchie_ ** oh shit yeah how’s the truck 

**_micycle_ ** yeah it should be good, but everyone cross your fingers 

**_Big Bill_ **i can help you look at it when you get here 

**_micycle_ **yeah, that’d be great, thanks 

**_micycle_ **i keep making temporary repairs but maybe a second pair of eyes can point out a more permanent solution 

**_micycle_ ** i think it has something to do with the alternator? 

**_micycle_ **and, i mean, i don’t want to pour a ton of money into it if it’s just gonna break down again, but i don’t wanna give up on her yet 

**_queen bev_ **okay enough car talk 

**_staniel_ **yeah, cars are definitely overrated 

**_eds_ **really who cares about a large hunk of metal 

**_bitchie_ ** just say you’re gay and go, eds

 **_eds_ **don’t call me out like this, chee 

**_eds_ **stan’s gay too, then!! 

**_staniel_ ** we knew this, eds

 **_eds_ **DONT CALL ME THAT 

**_bitchie_ **HA 

**_micycle_ **i care if it can get me to you guys 

**_queen bev_ **aw mike :,) 

**_eds_ **okay that’s acceptable 

**_micycle_ **:) 

**_staniel_ **cars are okay i guess 

**_micycle_ **:) 

**_haystack_ **if you need a ride, i’ll come pick you up 

**_micycle_ ** okay thanks i’ll let you know 

**_micycle_ **also, don’t y’all have class??

2:28pm

losers™️ 

**_bitchie_ ** obviously yes mikey 

**_bitchie_ ** HOWEVER many of us find our dear friends much more important than school 

**_queen bev_ ** some of us are actually struggling bc of this 

**_haystack_** yeah richie just because you’re smart enough to be on honor roll without going to class 

**_bitchie_ **hey !! that is rude !!! i go to over half my classes !!! 

**_queen bev_ ** if i didn’t love you so much richie tozier i might kill you 

**_bitchie_ **don’t hate me bc u ain’t me 

**_haystack_ **we don’t hate you

 **_queen bev_ **we're just mad and angry and don’t wanna see you 

**_bitchie_ **guys :( 

**_eds_ **just because you're jealous that richie’s smart, doesn't mean you get to be fucking mean 

2:32pm 

richie&bev&stan 

**_stan_ ** did eddie just get, dare I say, protective of you? 

**_queen bev_ **richie darling you know how smart i think you are so let’s focus on THIS 

**_queen bev_ **he was ready to fight us for you. 

**_bitchie_ **i did not feel bad at all, bev, i know u were kidding don’t worry 

**_bitchie_ ** but. idkidkidk about the other thing 

2:32pm 

eds&rich 

**_eds_ ** i just hope you know that they’re all kidding and everyone knows how smart you are 

**_eds_ **bc you really are so smart and you get down on yourself and don’t think that sometimes and i KNOW that and i know that you shouldn’t ever ever feel that way because you are so fucking smart

 ** _eds_** even when you're being stupid 

2:33pm 

richie&bev&stan 

**_bitchie_ **still dk what’s going on 

**_bitchie_ **but this boy might make me CRY y’all 

2:34pm 

eds&rich 

**_bitchie_ **thank you. thank you for telling me and thinking that about me and standing up for me.

 **_eds_ ** well i guess someone's gotta look out for you 

**_bitchie_** i'm glad it's you 

**_eds_** me too

2:34pm 

losers™️ 

**_queen bev_ ** sorry rich i failed a test today 

**_queen bev_ **didn’t mean to be aggressive :/ 

**_bitchie_ **don’t even worry about it beverly 

**_bitchie_ **i adore u anyway :) 

**_bitchie_ **and i can help you do corrections on that test 

**_queen bev_ **THANK GOD you literal angel 

**_queen bev_ **we are not worthy of richie tozier 

**_haystack_ **he truly is a gem 

**_staniel_** he's tolerable sometimes 

**_Big Bill_ ** he’s a blessing all the time 

**_eds_ **damn right. 

**_bitchie_ **<3 

2:35pm 

richie&bev&stan 

**_bitchie_ **i am so fucked.


End file.
